The Mandala Principle

Daniel Goldsmith

“Be careful when you cast out your demons that you don’t throw away the best of yourself.”

Nietzsche

One of the general principles informing “Felix and Anya” is that trauma is not something to “overcome” or “heal,” but to integrate. We can’t erase traumatic experiences, but we can learn to relate to them in such a way that they no longer define or imprison us. If we learn to work with them, we may even extract some benefits and understand that we owe them a great deal.

This approach has a basis in both spiritual traditions and modern psychology. Below is a brief description of two approaches you may wish to investigate further with the suggested resources.

One of the fundamental principles of the Tantric Buddhism practiced in Tibet, for example, is that every experience can be used as a means to realizing enlightenment. Suffering, death, and neurotic tendencies all have the potential to open human beings to the true nature of our minds. In fact, the more challenging the experience, the greater the potential for us to break out of out ego-based perceptions, which the Buddha identified as the source of suffering.

Visually, this is depicted in the form of a mandala, which represents a seemingly unlimited number of paths leading to the centre.

Tibetan folklore conveys the same message in the tale of the great yogi Milarepa’s attempt to rid his abode of demons. After numerous attempt to get them to “go away”, he invites them to sit down for tea, at which point they disappear.

What we resist, persists. When we cease the habitual desire to alter our life experience to something other than what it is, we open the doorway to greater self-understanding and compassion.

The key to diving deeper, investigating, and continuing is the simple instruction to remain present with every experience as it is, which is at the basis of all forms of Buddhist meditation. This theme is not exclusive to Buddhism, and finds expression in other spiritual traditions, including the Sufi poet Rumi and Hafiz (see “The Guest House” and “Now is the Time”). One could also note that Biblical figures like Abraham, Moses, and Elijah frequently utter the word “hineni” (here I am) at crucial moments in their spiritual journeys, indicating to God that they are “showing up” for the challenges placed before them.

The message that we grow only by remaining present finds parallels in modern psychology. Brene Brown and others have confirmed the vital importance of befriending difficult and uncomfortable emotions. Achieving one’s full potential (what Brown calls living “wholeheartedly”) doesn’t happen outside of being able to recognize one’s own like vulnerability and shortcomings. Every part of our personality has something to teach us, and it’s only by opening to the parts of ourselves that are hidden away and cordoned off that we can access true creativity, self-actualization, and interpersonal intimacy.

Possible questions for students on this theme

1. What positive aspects of their personality do you think Felix and Anya owe to challenges they faced in the past?
2. Reflect on a situation or experience that you faced that was challenging or even painful, but ultimately proved to be beneficial in your development.
3. Working with afflictive emotions, neurotic tendencies, and behavioral coping mechanisms is challenging work. What types of support (spiritual, psychological, or otherwise) can we offer someone who is committed to doing such inner work?
4. In which ways do you see our society not incorporating the message that all aspects of our personality are valuable?